


Texts From Badasses

by MidnightMix



Series: Texts With Badasses [1]
Category: Constantine (Comic), Constantine (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Supernatural, The Yogscast
Genre: BAMF Dean, Confused Castiel, F/M, M/M, Rythian Is A Superhero, Sam Winchester is Not Amused, Sara is Rythian's Sister, Texting, Trickster Gabriel, Villian Lalna, texts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-23 09:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4871857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightMix/pseuds/MidnightMix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Lalna and Gabriel play pranks, Sam is exasperated, Castiel is Confused and Sara and Dean sit back and grab the popcorn...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Carry On My Wayward Starbucks

Unknown Number: Green Tea Latte

Me: Who is this?

Unknown Number: Sara how could you forget me :(

Me: Look Tommy I'm not interested.

Unknown Number: Who the hells Tommy? This is your brothers arch-nemisis.

Me: Lalna???

Unknown Number: Yep

Me: Why are you texting me?

Lalna: Because I'm on the ground floor of the Avengers building and I want starbucks

Me: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItMakesSenseInContext

Lalna: I HAVE STARBUCKS AND I BOUGHT A STARBUCKS FOR YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

Me: What villian school do they teach that one at.

Lalna: Stark and the rest of the avengers are coming through the door.

Lalna: Starks seen me.

Lalna: Im running.

Lalna: Authorise me to go to your floor

Me: Why should I?

Lalna: Sushi starbucks and supernatural

Me: Get in the lift.

Lalna: Thanks


	2. Why Is There A Guinea Pig

Sam: Dean-O

Me: Who is this. Cause Sam's sitting in front of me.

Sam: I'm the guy who died for your sins.

Me:?

Sam: The hot one. ;)

Me: Gabriel?

Sam: Yeeeeeeees!!!

Me: You're dead.

Sam: Correction: I was dead but good old dad brought me back.

Me: Oh. Goodie.

Sam: Now is there any chance you could open the door it's really hard to get in to angel proof bunkers.

Me: No

Sam: But we can have a sleepover and play truth or dare and seven minutes in heaven ;)

Me:.....

Sam: Never mind found my own way in.


	3. The Winchester Effect

Unknown: I swear to god Gabriel if this is another wrong number I'm gonna kill you.

Sara: Wrong number.

Sara: And who the hell's Gabriel?

Sara: And on that note who the hell are you?

Unknown: I'm Dean.

Sara: Sara.

Dean: Well nice to meet you Sara I have an angel to smite.

Sara: Sounds more like a trickster to me.

Dean: You have no idea.


	4. Some Friendly Advice From A New Friend

Sara: Dean?

Sara: You there?

Dean: Who are you?

Sara: You wrong numbered me like two days ago.

Dean: jjubhjgvftuyu.

Sara: What?

Dean: Sorry my brother stole my phone.

Sara: Is your brother the angel?

Dean: No but he's equally as annoying.

Sara: Ha.

Dean: Anyway why are you texting a wrong number?

Sara: Because I need advice from an impartial third party.

Dean: What about.

Sara: There's a supervillian in my bedroom and I'm not sure whether or not to take him up to the Avenger's level

Dean: Elaborate.

Sara: I'm the sister of the superhero Rythian. I'm the superhero Paradox. I let Lalna AKA Alchemist up to my level in a stupid heat-of-the-moment decision and he fell asleep on my couch. I don't know what to do.

Dean: Why are you conflicted.

Sara: Because he's the first person I've felt any real connection to other than my brother. I don't even feel this way with my boyfriend. HELP ME.

Dean: If you feel that way then you shouldn't turn him in. Real friends and kindred spirits are hard to come by.

Sara: But it feels like I'm betraying my family.

Dean: A wise man once said, family don't end in blood.

Sara: Thank you Dean.

Dean: Anytime Sara.


	5. There Was The Word

Sara: The avengers are doing a full search of the building for Lalna.

Dean: Do I need to know this?

Sara: No but still. I mean, this is just weird. I swear to god Clint's searching through my underwear draw.

Dean: What do you think he's hoping to find in there?

Sara: Maybe my secret diary where I write love poems to him.

Dean: Ha ha.

Sara: Now they want my phone. Like why? Is he hiding in my photo album?

Dean: Oh such hardship.

Sara: Ah go screw.

Dean: You go screw.

Sara: Aeth is getting angry.

Dean: Who's Aeth?

Sara: Boyfriend.

Dean: Why?

Sara: Cause I'm not giving a shit about what he's saying.

Dean: What is he saying?

Sara: Something about giving him m

Dean: Sara?

Dean: Dude?

Sara: What are you doing texting Sara?

Dean: I wrong numbered her like two days ago and we've been chatting.

Sara: Yeah "chatting". I'm sure you've just been "chatting" Lalna.

Dean: I'm not Lalna and you should stop being a dick.

Sara: Oh shit, just got my phone back.

Dean: Yeah, check back through your texts.

Sara: WHAT THE SHIT

Dean: I know.

Sara: I just dumped him.

Dean: By text?

Sara: No, by carrier pigeon.

Dean: A lost art.

Sara: Ha ha.

Sara: But yes. I've banned him from my floor.

Dean: He deserved it.


	6. Hellblazing Hot

Dean: You there?

Sara: Only Always.

Lalna: Yup.

Dean: A ghost from the past showed up.

Lalna: Ghost or Demon?

Sara: How long have you been waiting to use that one?

Lalna: Too long, Midnight. Too long.

Dean: Guys? Back to my problem?

Sara: Yeah, sure.

Lalna: What's your problem with your ghostdemon.

Dean: John Constantine showed up and I don't know what to do.

Sara: Fondue.

Lalna: Seconded.

Dean: Fondue?

Sara: You know, fondue.

Dean: I'm not getting it.

Lalna: 


	7. WTF

Okay lord knows what happened with the previous chapter.

Like seriously the text cuts out halfway through. I can't edit it and I can't delete the chapter.

So I guess I'll just write the text into the next chapter and add another one to make up for whatever the hell that was.

Who likes Frostiron and Sabriel? 


End file.
